The things we hate this week, every week.
Harold Recommends (Apr. 17, 2022)
Yale getting a new registration system: waitlisted at 8:05 AM? Really??? Taking an hour out of your weekend to tour HQ: it’s like a corn maze, except the scarecrow in the middle is a French professor. Big Little Lies: two seasons to distract yourself with the next time you’re in quarantine. Listening to Spotify’s Halloween
Yale getting a new registration system: waitlisted at 8:05 AM? Really??? Taking an hour out of your weekend to tour HQ: it’s
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Hey you, It’s good to see you again. And your legs. And the birds. What have I been doing? Missing you, mainly.
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Friday, April 8th was one of this spring’s first truly “outdoor” days. In the afternoon, the sun was out, and, at least
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Putin’s invasion of Ukraine has inspired much equivocation between the current Russian Federation and the Soviet Union. Indeed, both states subordinated their
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I’ll paint the scene: You’re a Yale College student. It’s midterm season. You aren’t usually a procrastinator, but the beautiful spring weather
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Two seats down from a pair of thirty-somethings who whistled anytime Catwoman appeared onscreen, I watched The Batman and wondered why Warner
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I’m only slightly embarrassed to admit that I found myself at Yale’s new on-campus bar, The Well, on its opening night. Every
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What were you doing last Wednesday morning? Did you have three consecutive existential crises about the state of your course registration worksheet?
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I remember the first time I felt desire, and I remember the first time I felt fear. I have pages upon pages
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In recent years, there has been an increasing acceptance of the open relationship: couples who agree to seek sexual or romantic fulfillment
MoreSlapping award show hosts in the face: sorry, Chris. Netflix’s new show Baking Impossible: ANYTHING CAN BE CAKE. Talking like a pirate:
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Sex education for Catholic school girls is actually pretty simple. Imagine the scene from Mean Girls where the gym teacher warns the
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Orgasm: 4/10Sure, it can be nice, but sometimes you just don’t want it. For example, when the TSA guy pats you down
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Close your eyes: you’re out on the town, looking perfect, smelling like heaven. Skip ahead. Keep your eyes closed. You’re stumbling through
MoreDear reader, You’re probably thinking to yourself, Are they really doing an entire sex-themed issue? We sure are. Is it a ploy
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Ghosted. A lot. Enough motivation to finally get an IUD, which was so painful upon implantation that I vomited on the OB-GYN.
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Since ancient times, the human desire for sex has been coupled with an equally deep anxiety about our abilities to satiate this
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You have to strain your neck to look him in the eye, and stand on your tiptoes to kiss him. He says
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Priapus, god of sexWith throbbing sword-like groin,You mesmerize and vexMy mind, and then my loin. As she would not take your lance,You
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“A body is always twisting and changing form, and looking at it from different angles, you see different things, and there are
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MAKE PEOPLE WONDER WHAT KIND OF SEX YOU ARE HAVING. The message displays proudly across the first slide of Professor Kathryn Lofton’s
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Dearest readers, Can you believe this is the last Herald issue before spring break? We’ve made it! Although it did snow only
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As a Middle Eastern woman-child (it’s weird because by the standard definition I am an adult, but by my parents’ definition I
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It started with overnight oats. Sam’s* recipe was simple enough: rolled oats from the Bow Wow, almond milk and maple syrup from
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An Interview with SESH, DIY Tattooer, Yale Med Student, and Comics Artist Cathryn Seibert, JE ‘22 This past September, comics artist SESH
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I spent my winter break visiting family across Budapest, tracing the concentric streets that encircle the heart of the city and venturing
MoreHarold Recommends Donating to the Ukraine Crisis Fund: a fund specifically designed to bring water, food, and other necessary items to Ukrainians.
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“DECORUM.” Press play on the album’s first song. A grainy keyboard jazzily takes off before taxiing smoothly into the beginning of R.A.P.
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I hope I’m not alone in saying that America’s obsession with pizza psychologically disturbs me. I’m still recovering from the traumatic experience
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Thank you feet for carrying me across garbled waves and scorching concrete. For carrying a girl who didn’t want to exist in a woven basket of
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A shield of plain brown corduroy,Just strung along the arm.It insulates my weary heartAnd cloaks me in its charm. A vulture’s ruff
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My mother laughed as she pointed at the quilt. In the center, a dog was doing its best to separate a man
MoreHello fellow dilettantes, We’ve returned. Another week, another issue. We churn these things out like crazy if you really think about it.
MoreAminé for Spring Fling: we back and better than ever. Squardle: better than Wordle. Sedecordle: better than Squardle. Worldle: better than Sedecordle.
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In Russian director Sergei Balabanov’s Brother (1997), Danila, a baby-faced former soldier from a Russian village, goes to live with his successful
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I spent my junior year of high school touring colleges that proudly boasted to have abolished Greek Life decades ago—or, better yet,
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What is, or rather, what was Librex? I know the formal answer: an anonymous online discussion platform for Ivy League students, founded
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One afternoon eight years ago, Juliette Watt received a very important email in her inbox. It read: “Dear Mrs. Watt, this is
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A few weeks ago, I found myself alone in the Branford College TV room asking myself the immortal question: What do I
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Problem: So many reading rooms, so little time. Which is the best study room in Sterling Memorial Library? Methodology: My friend Cat
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Shaking off the glitter and psychedelic palette of blue and purple synonymous with its preceding season, season two of Euphoria slips into
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Brown leather flare pants, white puff-sleeve crop top, black bag on my shoulder, and cat-eye sunglasses on my head—this is how I
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I am a podcast enthusiast. Britt and Ashley, the hosts of Crime Junkie, keep me company as I sip my morning coffee.
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I’ll be honest: I’m tired of talking about Kanye. I should promptly clarify, lest I attract the disdain of every college-age white
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I wish to be painted, but my hands will not allow it. I wish to trace the sharpness of my nose, the
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Remember when we used to be happy? Unapologetically happy? 8:02 pm on a Saturday: “Wtp?” “Any moves tonight?” “Hey girly are you
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Swish-swish. Swish-swish. Her skis, hardwood coated lovingly with resin, slid across the surface of the snow, like the mechanical wipers on the
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“A city is measured by the character of its institutions. The street is one of its first institutions. Today these institutions are
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This National Eating Disorder Awareness week has served as a valuable period of introspection for me. While reviewing the various modes of
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February 27, 2022 Uncategorized by Yale Herald Blocklist, February 27, 2022 The Blocklist by Yale Herald Letter from the Editors (Feb. 27,
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Hello friends and lovers, We hope you’re doing well. You know we are. We’re actually doing really, really well, thank you for
MoreGoGo Squeez: we were today years old when we learned that there are jokes on the bottom! Visits at the McClellan COVID
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I. Photoshop Concubine My favorite nights from last year were the ones I spent in my friend Jared’s apartment. I loved looking
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This past Sunday, Feb. 20, Caroline Polachek brought her Pang tour to the doors of College Street Music Hall, carefully crafting a
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There are 28 songs on my favorite playlist. I know their order, I can sing all of their lyrics, and I hate
MoreMy mom’s one truth is that a woman’s job is to suffer. I will never forget it, not because I believe it,
Moreon this valentine’s day i dream of love, but not the way you may think i dream of love in the way people
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TikTok videos labeled “#tourettes” have amassed billions of views. These videos follow certain patterns; many feature TikTokers filming their tics while attempting
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Since the dawn of satire, media literacy has been hanging on by a thread. Classical works of politically tinged literature (like the
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A good friend of mine listened to Big Thief’s latest album, Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe in You, at my recommendation.
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The canvas looks like it’s covered in constellations, or mold. To achieve this patterning, Rachael Anderson (ART ’22) bathed the canvas in
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Twelve French businesspeople and one American temp walk into a Parisian bar. What language do they speak? English, of course—that American temp
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When I think back to my early childhood, the first image that comes to mind is my younger brother and I, wide-eyed
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On Jan. 31, just four days prior to the release of their sophomore album, Ants From Up There, London-based experimental rock band
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After two years of COVID-induced cinematic famine, the latter half of 2021 laid out a smorgasbord of films for audiences to break
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“In Adam’s lab a little lamb was born of a plastic bag ––no mama to tell I love ewe.Immaculate succession. Here come the
MoreThe Gilded Age: I don’t know what is going on in this show but I love it. Following Kanye on every social
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Our generation is a unique specimen crafted by the era of digital dating. By the time I entered the dating scene, dating
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It’s 9:59 PM and I’m sitting in the library, reading Hamlet—or maybe more accurately, avoiding doing so by playing Semantle, my favorite
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For 180 million listeners worldwide, the content platformed by Spotify has become a staple of morning commutes and evening walks. However, the
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During Thanksgiving break, I brought home a little pumpkin. Dirt clumps stuck to its skin. When I ran my fingers across the
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Every Valentine’s Day, I’ve gotten gloriously fucked. Not from behind or from the side, but over — I’ve gotten fucked over. Last
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Despite it being two weeks since the opening ceremony, it was mere days ago that the Winter Olympics in Beijing experienced its
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Apocalyptic visions abound in late capitalism: films in which earthquakes ravage the Earth, books about mankind serving machines. Philosopher Mark Fisher’s dystopian
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My father veers into a long, hedge-lined driveway, and the house emerges from the greenery. The Manor House is a remnant of
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Every time I say “I,” it refers to you. —Louise Glück I want to be whole without you but there are pieces of spoiled ash
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I’m going to assume that before you went on to read this, you looked at the title and went, “Ew, what? But
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I got my first tattoo last week. It’s about six inches in size, runs vertically down my ribs, and memorializes the last
MoreTo all those who are post-COVID, mid-COVID, or pre-COVID, Welcome to Melanie Boyd’s America. Not fake-email Melanie Boyd’s America, but all-too-real, COVID-party-pooping,
MoreSpencer: The Best Psychological Horror of 2021 Reviews by Adhya Beesam Red (Taylor’s Version) and the Art of Hindsight Reviews by Jessica
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Dear reader, We hope this letter finds you well given the circumstances — what a crazy world we live in! Hope your
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Solitary, singing in the West,I strike up for a New World.I lay a loved and lost one beneath the sod. “I
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In the autumn of the first quarantine year, I became friends with my neighbor––real friends. I’d vaguely known her since middle school,
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After years of flitting between projects and genres following the amicable split of his group Abhi//Dijon, Los Angeles-based musician Dijon (of “Skin”
MoreThe Ivy League and late-night television go hand in hand. Call me biased, but some of our most beloved on-screen icons are
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When Kate Morena was nine years old, she heard the song “Sparks Fly” by Taylor Swift for the first time. Now nineteen,
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