- Belly button rings: like a doorbell for your tummy. DING DONG!
- Love Island UK Season 9: big boobs and british baccents.
- Keeping your mind in the gutter: Pennywise lives there.
- Daniel Caesar’s new song “Do You Like Me?”: lowkey pick me energy, but good vibes.
- Reviving board games: they are fun and flat like the Earth!
- Future History by Jason Derulo: it may be over a decade old, but the future is history…
- House music at parties, but not Drake. Please no more Drake.
- Celibacy: this ain’t the sex issue. Yet.
- Not being able to grow facial hair: no crumbs in this imaginary beard!
- Normalizing pajamas at 4 PM: take your jean off, bitch.
