- Tax evasion: if my father does it, why shouldn’t I?
- Contraception: the only things we’re conceiving this week are good ideas.
- Gettin’ Old by Luke Combs: not as old as yo momma.
- Digging: who knows what you might find??
- Copping the English major tote bag: two-strappers are fucking nerds.
- “SEARCH & RESCUE” by Drizzy: we were lost, but the goat has saved us once again.
- Season 4 of Normal Gossip: fuck Nora for not returning Caroline’s blender.
- Four cups of wine: why make it a seder thing when it could be a daily thing?
- Betting on bog snorkeling: how do you think I’m paying my rent?
- The right to own property: free the Herald.
