I met with certified sex therapist Jodi Williams to talk about her experience and encounters as a sex therapist, the stigma surrounding her work, and everything in between.
Upon meeting Jodi, I was immediately conscious of her warm and inviting presence. I could sense she possessed the very characteristics she believes make a good sex therapist. “Effective sex therapists are open-minded, non-judgemental, empathic, and have good clinical insight,” she explained. “Maybe my open mindedness is not so normal.”
Jodi knew she wanted to become a therapist from an early age. She combined that interest with a passion for theater, and she double majored in psychology and drama in college. Jodi’s background in drama not only enhances her ability to empathize and connect with her clients, but it also brings a unique perspective to her practice of sex therapy. By incorporating elements of drama therapy into her sessions, Jodi can offer a creative and innovative approach to addressing sexual issues, allowing individuals to express their feelings and experiences in a safe and dynamic way.
Jodi and I discussed the stigma surrounding sex therapy and society’s unfamiliarity with it. “Sex therapy is not sex work,” she said. “I think there’s still something in our society that makes people uncomfortable talking about sex. Sex education in this country is pretty abysmal. And so anytime you could normalize that, it is healthy. It’s very smart for our society to talk openly about sex without shame.”
Even before she became a sex therapist, Jodi never shied away from the subject. In college she produced a radio show called “Ask the Experts,” where students would call with questions about sex and love.
Before Jodi became a sex therapist, she opened a private practice in 2016 for cognitive behavioral therapy. . During her work, she noticed that people felt oddly comfortable opening up about their sex lives. She thought, “Well, you know, what a cool thing to specialize in. I like talking about sex anyways,” and her career in sex therapy was born. She then underwent the two-and-a-half year training process to become a certified sex therapist, which included classes on topics ranging from sexual dysfunctions and theories around sex therapy, to how to help people with issues in their sex lives or in their relationships. One class exposed trainees to “sexually explicit material, or stories talking about things that maybe they haven’t encountered in their personal life, to examine their own biases.”
Jodi explained that therapists who have not undergone this additional training are also able to give sex advice, but “this extra training and supervision teaches specialized treatment techniques and interventions, helps therapists discover their own biases so that they don’t harm their clients, and prevents therapists from using their own sexual experiences to color how they help their clients.” After her certification, she joined the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT).
It’s not just Jodi’s professional qualifications that set her apart. Her personality also contributes to creating a safe and supportive environment for her clients. It was clear after just one meeting with her that she exudes sincerity and genuine care. Jodi’s natural ability to connect with others complements her training. She is proof that being a good sex therapist requires a combination of both acquired skills and inherent attributes.
The work that Jodi does now is deeply rooted in effective communication.. “I do a lot of work around helping people get to know their own nervous system,” she said. “Because when you’re in fight or flight, or you’re really stressed out, communication is like the first thing to go. It’s so easy to miscommunicate, to not hear somebody correctly. There’s no shame in that, but let’s practice regulating our emotions so that we can communicate clearly.”
A big part of navigating personal sexual concerns can be focusing on mental health. Jodi explained the link between mental health and sexual well being: “A healthy sex life that brings pleasure and color into your life can be so good for your mental health. But you also don’t want to force yourself into having sex when you’re not mentally there.” “Things like depression and anxiety can absolutely impact [sex drive]. And that can impact your relationship with yourself and your relationship with your partners.”
Jodi’s profession also permeates other aspects of her life. “Sometimes I’ll be at a family or friend’s event and won’t be saying a word, but if the topic of sex comes up people will automatically turn to me for my thoughts.” Jodi enjoys that her presence can start conversations about sex, believing that “the more we normalize talking about sex, the healthier our intimate relationships are.”
Sex therapy not only transforms the lives of so many, but it also contributes to a broader cultural shift toward acceptance and empowerment. By promoting open dialogue and education around sex, Jodi strives to normalize discussions about sexuality in a society where such conversations are often met with discomfort or shame.
