Walk into Book Trader any day of the week and you will see at least three different couples talking while sipping their vegan chai lattes, pretending that they can hear each other over the cacophony of neighboring tables’ conversations. Don’t get me wrong, Book Trader has earned its rightful place in Yale’s social scene. The busy coffee shop is the perfect place to take that distant friend with whom you don’t know what to talk about but have been promising to get a meal with since September. The good thing about Book Trader is that it’s a goldmine for conversation starters, inspiring small talk about everything from the familiar professor lurking in the corner to the new books that the staff has just stacked on the shelves. For a date on which you actually want to hear what the other person is saying, though, my advice is to steer clear.
But that begs the question: where should you take the person you are interested in around campus? Search no more, readers of the Herald, I’ve compiled a list of the most popular date spots with objectively correct evaluations of their quality and effectiveness.
1. Mecha Noodle Bar: This is a safe choice for a date. It’s just far enough from campus that you won’t be interrupted by the loud banging of Harkness Tower, and can therefore avoid any feelings of inadequacy when you can’t seem to figure out what song the bells are playing, but it’s not so far that you can’t make a quick escape if needed. Big fan of this one.
2. The Graduate: If somebody takes you here on a first date, run. You’re bound to bump into everyone from your English seminar. And since English majors are always looking for new material to write about, prepare to have your date dramatized in their short story submission for Michael Cunningham’s Advanced Fiction Writing class.
3. Dining Halls: These are just confusing. Is it a date? If so, it’s a really pathetic one. Is it a meal with a friend? Is it weird to say yes when you run into your roommate and she asks to join you two? Stay away.
4. Common Grounds: Even if you can get past the aggressively orange walls, the burnt coffee and mediocre pastries can turn even a good date into a miserable experience. Please don’t do this to anyone.
5. Sherkaan Indian Street Food: Anyone who takes you to Sherkaan is the future love of your life. You will adopt multiple dogs together and have children if that’s your thing (weird). Start making plans now.
Do with this list what you will. As for how to acquire a date in the first place, that is beyond the scope of this article.