Ask Joehoru is a weekly column where Joanna (JE ’25) answers her Instagram followers’ questions. DM her @joehoru or watch out for a weekly question sticker on her story to get her thought-provoking answers.
Hi Yale Herald readers. I hope you guys have had the happiest of holidays. I’m excited for the new year and all the good and bad it may bring. If you’re graduating this year, that must be so scary and nightmare vibes. I hope you get through it. Hag. If you’re not, then you should be okay. This week, a few of you sent me some of your wackiest new year’s resolutions, so now I will rate and share them with the entire Yale community (you’re welcome). I will rate them out of 10, 10 being really super awesome and 0 being kind of scary. Let’s read on…
Resolution #1: “Getting really strong so I can fight grown men.”
Rate: 8/10. If a man had sent this to me, I would have been really scared. But an awesome girl around five feet tall sent this to me so it really resonates with me. For the sake of The Yale Herald, I will say that Joehoru does not condone violence. But, [REDACTED].
Resolution #2: “Stop vaping, but specifically for DRC, not for my health.”
Rate: 10/10. This is really awesome. I think everyone who vapes should stop (Joehoru would like to take this opportunity to ask everyone to research the DRC and inform themselves on what is going on in the cobalt mines).
Resolution #3: “Get docs (as a way to let the bi girls know I’m here).”
Rate: 10/10. This is a really good way to let the bi girls know you’re here. I support you. Joehoru is an LGBTQ+ ally.
Resolution #4: “Stop being so sexy.”
Rate: 1/10. This is a bad resolution! Never apologize for being sexy. I support you.
Resolution #5: “Write more of my Naruto fanfic (serious).”
Rate: 4/10. Joehoru is not against fanfiction. But Naruto fanfiction is something I cannot get behind. But I support you.
Resolution #6: “Drinking coke only 3 days a week.”
Rate: 7/10. I used to drink coke 7 days a week. But then the dining hall replaced the Coca Cola with Pepsi and my life was forever changed. Maybe it was for the best. Anyway, I only slightly support you because I believe in soda.
Resolution #7: “Have sex with at least 13 British people.”
Rate: 0/10. The “British people” part of this sentence gives it an automatic score of ZERO. This is NOT a good resolution. I’m scared! I cannot support you.
Well, that was it for this week. Tune in next week for the Joehoru 30 Under 30. It’ll be a good one.
