A Conversation Between Two Young Adults Who Haven’t Grown Comfortable with their Bodies Yet (at a Naked Party)

YA 1:  I’m overdressed.

YA 2:  You’re not.

YA 1:  The socks aren’t too much?

YA 2:  You’re ONLY wearing socks. Don’t be so nervous.

YA 1:  How can I not be? Everyone here is NAKED, worst of all, they’re all GROOMED. If that girl’s pubic hair is the Buckingham Palace, mine looks like Notre Dame. Post-fire!

YA 2:  Okay, so you didn’t realize there was a dress code. Calm down. Listen, when I get nervous, I just picture—well that actually won’t do much here. Earrings on or off?

YA 1:  On! They match your nipple piercings. God, now I’m hungry. Why’d I think it was a good idea to starve myself to look good tonight? 

YA 2:  Well, they have some food here. 

YA 1:  All they have is cheese balls, animal crackers, and flavored vodka.

YA 2:  Oh. That’s a lot of gluten.

YA 1:  Hey, uh, what do I do if I poop?

YA 2:  What?

YA 1:  I stand here naked. Have a couple of drinks. Share a few laughs. Then, say, after four Dixie cups full of the cheese balls and flavored vodka, what should I do if—I don’t know—if I poop?

YA 2:  Just go to the bathroom.

YA 1:  I can’t.

YA 2:  Why?

YA 1:  I’m not at liberty to say.

YA 2:  You pooped.

YA 1:  I pooped. You know, I’m not that nervous anymore.

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