To My Floormate: I’m Good! Thanks For Asking

You live in the suite across the hall, right? Yeah, we actually have met before, but it’s okay if you don’t remember my name. We pass each other before your 10:30 Spanish class every morning, and we’re in the same FroCo group, but it’s totally cool that you don’t ever say hi. Anyway, I’m good, in case you were wondering. I failed my midterm, but it’s not your fault, really. It’s just that I did knock on your door and ask you to quiet down last night. Like, multiple times. Just out of curiosity, though, why was your game of Monopoly so loud? I’m not trying to judge you, really, it’s just that once it hit 7:30 in the morning and I heard what I thought was a baseball bat hitting bare flesh, I thought it might have been a little excessive? I don’t know. It’s all good, though! Also, I’d appreciate it if you could maybe stop leaving your peanut shells all over the bathroom. I mean, you can eat peanuts, you do you, but I do still have that deadly allergy I mentioned. It’s ok if you don’t have time to clean it up, but it’s just that I’ve been at Yale Health for anaphylactic shock twice in the last two weeks. It’d be nice to be able to brush my teeth without wearing a gas mask for a change. But it’s all good! Oh, and I did want to thank you for not smoking in your common room last weekend. I’m glad you remembered that I asked you not to, you know, since my parents were coming to visit me and your weed is, like, SUPER loud. I’m just confused as to why you thought it would be better to smoke in my common room? It’s good though, it’s really good, really it is. It’s just that I may have to drop out because of it.

Anyway, sorry for bothering you. I know you’ve got a lot on your plate, still being undecided about your major and all, eating all those peanuts and stuff. Just wanted you to know that if you don’t see me next semester because my parents are sending me to counseling, I’m good! Thanks for asking.

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