For Sale: My Oppression — Free

So, I got this approximately 21 years ago. I asked my mom about it, and she said that it’s a family heirloom passed down from generation to generation. After all of these years, I’ve come to realize that it’s just not for me. I’ve just not been having the best time but can’t seem to get rid of it.

I just want to take a quick break for a sec, catch my breath, and actually breathe air. This all-carcinogen diet has not really been working out for me, and I wanna try one of those healthy places like Jamba Juice.

My friend told me about this new thing, from the same creators, called middle-to-upper-class whiteness. I think it’s the right fit for me and can’t wait to try it out.

For example, I really want to try out a school with a heater. Maybe even enter a school building instead of, like, bungalows in parking lots or just having class at the park instead. Teachers would also be nice (third week of teacher strikes). I haven’t been in school for a month, so that’s kind of, like, awkward and illegal?

I’m also really excited to make new friends. The gangs I roll with are just not cutting it for me. I’m constantly getting beaten up and they don’t stop, even when I yell at them to stop. I’m tired of being ignored.

If you want to try Oppression, I will say that it is super affordable and really easy to use. In fact, you’ll have a harder time putting it down. Super addicting. (Might also be the free crack that comes with purchase. Thanks, Reagan!) Unfortunately, this doesn’t come with a manual, but you’ll learn. I mean, you probably have no choice.

This is the 13th time I’ve posted this ad. I’m hoping, this time, someone will just help a guy out and get this off my hands.

If interested, meet me in the alley on King Blvd. or email me at cansomeonepleasehelpme@aol.com.

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